Settled
by paris.and.always
Summary: "Maybe he shouldn't be saying this, this has the potential to scare her off but the last few days have made him a little more open than he'd usually let himself be." post-5x05 oneshot


_A/N: So I decided to write my own post-5x05 oneshot. This little bug wouldn't leave me alone. Also, in my opinion this is K+ but things on FF have been weird lately so I'll put it as T just in case. _

_Hope you enjoy! _

* * *

When everything settles enough for Kate and Castle to leave, they don't go straight back to Castle's apartment. No, instead they have the boys drop them off at a diner where they are meeting Martha and Alexis for breakfast.

Kate offered to miss out at first, but Castle insisted. It makes her heart beat a little faster knowing that now when he wants family time, that includes her too. It's…intense but she won't deny him the comfort he wants, not now, not after everything.

The diner is a cute little Belgian waffle joint, not far from Columbia and Alexis keeps the conversation light. There's story after story of classes and parties and people and Castle tries, really tries, to look as engaging as he possibly can. His mind is elsewhere though. Images of Kate on the bridge, Tyson with a strong hold on her and a gun that he seemed so ready to use, playing over and over in his mind. God he just wants this all to stop. Why won't it _just stop_? Kate is alive and he is alive, that's what matters.

_And Tyson is alive._

Kate didn't get it when he told her about it on the bridge. He knows she thought he was just being paranoid. Doesn't matter, the feeling won't go away. As much as he hates it, he knows Tyson, knows what he is capable of and what makes him tick and what he is willing to do to keep killing innocent people. Tyson disclosed himself to Castle in a way he never did in front of the other detectives and now he is burdened with the knowledge that because of Castle, Tyson is able to keep killing.

Apparently his internal musings don't go unnoticed because when the waitress comes with the check, bringing him back from the depths of his mind, he sees Alexis give him a sad sort of understanding smile.

She excuses herself with some thin story about how she has a study group, tells them again how happy she is that they are both okay, and kisses his cheek just a second longer than she usually does. Her departure prompts Martha's excuse that she has to run as well – some students of hers are doing a last minute show in the park and it simply would not do if their _mentor _did not show up to support.

Once his mother is gone, Kate gives him a small smile as she nudges his side to get out of the booth and entwines their fingers as they leave the diner.

She walks to the edge of the sidewalk, ready to hail a cab, when she feels Castle pull on her hand.

"Let's walk."

The walk back to his loft isn't exactly short and she's exhausted but she nods, whatever he needs right now.

As they walk in silence she brings her free hand to the crease of his elbow, relishing that after days of seeing but not being able to touch, she can put her hands wherever she wants on him, whenever she wants, and hold him as close as she wants. And god, does she want to be close to him.

* * *

He hands her a steaming mug of coffee, the rich smell of expensive beans filling her up, so welcomed after days of separation. She follows him to the couch, leaning against his broad chest, content to just be still, something she's learned to do with him. Despite their relaxed demeanor, she can feel the tension in him, hear his mind being anything but settled. This was never supposed to happen to him; this isn't his life but she chides herself because _yes it is_. He has more than proved himself over the years, shown that he can hold his own. But this sadness, she can't deal with it, doesn't want it to consume him because he has so much life and energy and childlike joy that she never wants to disappear from him.

"Castle?"

"Hmm?"

She turns in his arms, angles herself the best she can so she can see his face. "You really think he's still out there, don't you?"

The arm around her tenses and his lips press together in a tight line, eyes closing for a brief second. "I know he is. I…he's still out there somewhere, Kate. I played right into his game. I gave him a way out. He'll kill again and it will be my fault all over again."

Kate takes his mug from him, sets it on the coffee table and maneuvers herself onto his thighs. His eyes move to hers and she brings a hand up to his cheek, thumb grazing the soft skin under his eye.

"Castle, if Tyson is dead, then this whole thing is over." He looks as if he is about to protest but her thumb moves to his lips to silence them.

"And if," she starts, taking in a deep breath, "if he isn't then he'll make a mistake, again. And we'll catch him, again. And if he manages to slip through our fingers, though a third time is unlikely, we'll just keep going after him as many times as it takes until the bastard is in the ground. But right now, right now we don't have anything to confirm or deny either of those so can we just _be _in this moment? Let's put the last couple of days behind us."

Castle's gaze holds hers, looking defeated, conflicted, not any more at ease. That doesn't stop him from nodding though and Kate leans down to place a kiss next to his eye.

They stay like that for a moment, her draped over his chest, head resting on his shoulder, and his arms around her waist. She hears him let out an exasperated breath, feels the heat of it tickle her ear. "He was here. He's been in this house and not just to plant that bag. Tyson was here watching and observing everything, me. This building…it's supposed to be secure," his voice breaking as it rises, his frustration letting out. He flinches when Kate leans back and tries to smooth the worry on his face with her fingers. "He…god, Kate, he _saw_ us. You and me. Not only did he come into my home and defile everything but he's tainted one of the best things in my life..."

A finger silences, she can't have him thinking this way. "He hasn't done a damn thing. Nothing that you can't change. Get a cleaning crew in here and sanitize everything, add more security, hell, by new furniture if you want. But Castle, you and me? He can't touch that. No one can touch it. No one has the power to taint or change anything between us besides you and me. And for me, not a thing has changed. Except maybe we can make a little more of an effort to close the blinds," she leans down to kiss up his jaw to his ear, "before things get too hot. I don't need anyone seeing how…ah, talented you are. I'll be beating woman – and maybe some men – on the street with a bat to keep you to myself." Kate thought she was going levity but he got that serious look in his eyes again. What…_oh_, maybe she shouldn't have worded it that way.

"You don't have to worry about anyone stealing me away from you, Kate. Not ever. I'm here, I'm so here and in this and there's nothing I want more –"

"Castle, I know. I didn't…I didn't doubt that. And that's not what I meant. I know that…I know how important this is to you. It's important to me, too. Don't forget that." Those crinkles next to his eyes return, a real smile gracing his face. God, it is so good to see.

"Hey," she nudges his nose with her, "how about we close those blinds?"

It takes him a second and then a laugh escapes. "Yeah?"

"Yeah, except maybe no handcuffs tonight?"

"No, no not tonight."

With a grace he is always mesmerized by, Kate hops off of his lap and walks to the doorway of his study, and gives him _that look. _Maybe he will be able to take his mind of off things after all.

* * *

With the curtains closed there was no telling what time of day it was. It doesn't matter, neither of them being in any rush to leave the comfortable cocoon they made in his bed. She won't ever admit it to him, but Kate loves the ridiculous amount of pillows and blankets Castle keeps around his room and on the bed.

She feels Castle's chest shake and raises her head, "What could you possibly be laughing about right now?"

"Oh, nothing. Just thinking about what it would be like to have a conjugal visit from you. I can see it now. The guard comes to my cell, telling me I have a visitor. I'm not sure who it is – I am a very loved man after all, it could be any number of people. Then suddenly we take a turn we normally don't when a visitor comes. I'm lead to an unfamiliar door, questions racing through my head. Who is trying to see me? Why the need for a different room? Then suddenly the door opens and there you are and it clicks. And if I hadn't understood before, the bed in the corner and the smirk on your faces tells me everything I need to know. You excuse the guard by his first name, he's someone you've known for a while through the prison, and we're left alone. Well, as alone as we could ever be in a prison. Suddenly I notice the bag in the corner. You managed to pull some strings and bring a few extra goodies to make this _special_. You still haven't said anything, but you pull at the belt of your coat –"

"How original, Castle." She wonders if he realizes that he's been running his fingers up and down her arm, not completely unaffecting her. He seems so wrapped up in this story of his that he hasn't seemed to notice that she's kinda liking it too. Good.

"Hush – you're ruining my fantasy. As I was saying, you pull at the belt of your coat and it falls open to reveal this incredibly sexy and risqué deep red little – and I do mean little – number. I go to reach for you but you step back, keep walking back until you hit the mattress. As you sit down, you let the coat go to the floor. I make my way toward you and you lean back against the mattress as I crowd over you. I wrap hand around your shoulder and you think it's to hold myself steady as I go to kiss you but instead I crush you to my chest and roll us to the side. I'm so happy to see you, to hold you that I need a minute to process that you're really there. You sigh out of satisfaction and then press a hand to my chest, pushing me down so I'm flat on my back. Your devilish little smirk is back on your face, and suddenly you're straddling my lap –"

"Like this," she asks as she swings her leg over his.

Oh god. "I…uh, yeah. Yeah like that"

She hums, mischievousness playing in her eyes. "That's a…really great story but there's just one little detail I think you're forgetting."

"Oh yeah," he tries to sound confident but really, how is he supposed to when there is a naked Kate Beckett straddling him?

"You see, conjugal visits are for _married _couples. I don't know if I'd even be able to pull the strings needed to get one." Wow it was really hard to concentrate when her hands were running over his chest and shoulders.

"I don't think that would be a problem?"

"No?"

"No. You already said you'd break me out of prison. I'd say that speaks for itself."

Maybe he shouldn't be saying this, this has the potential to scare her off but the last few days have made him a little more open than he'd usually let himself be. There hasn't been a doubt in his mind that he wants to marry Katharine Beckett but god, now it is evident more than ever. But slow, they still need to take things slow. Just because he knows there is never going to be anyone else doesn't mean there's any rush. No, he's happy. Happy to just be with her, whatever she needs until she's ready. He has no uncertainty that they'll get there. And then she's above him smiling. Or beaming. Beaming is definitely more like it.

"Yeah Castle, I guess I did say that didn't I," and then suddenly she's kissing him and it isn't the kind that's to distract him from what just happened. No, it's the kind that says everything that she's almost ready to say. So close, so close to saying. Soon.

And Castle knows that he doesn't have to worry about scaring her off anymore. She's in this.

* * *

_Hope you guys liked it! Let me know what you think :) _

_- Skyler_


End file.
